I’ve been married to my wife, April, for 25 years. Each and every year at Thanksgiving and Christmas, we go to her parents’ house to have dinner. And at each of these celebrations, there are two tables. (Is this familiar to anyone else?) There’s a grown-up table and a kids’ table. April and I have always sat at the adult table even though I started attending when we were still in college. Our nieces and nephews took their respective place at the kids’ table .
After more than two decades of this tradition, our nieces and nephew have grown up and even have kids of their own. But, they are still sitting at the kids’ table with my boys, who are basically grown themselves. Why? Because there’s no room at the adult table.
How many of our churches look like this. We have our ‘adult table’ in our main auditorium on Sundays and the ‘kids’ tables’ in our student and children’s ministries. All of these ministries may be incredible, but there just isn’t any crossover because we haven’t made room for a new generation of leaders. We’re happy with the way things are. We’re sitting at the big table with comfortable chairs and and the nice dishes. The younger generation is actually ready to leave behind the folding chairs and plastic forks for a better seat, though. We really just need a bigger table; one that has room for our entire family.It is crucial for the long-term health of our church that we create generational teams, not only to make sure we create space for new ideas, but because we want our church to be welcoming to new generations as well. We want to make sure our weekly gatherings look as diverse in age as the people we are trying to reach.
So here are three ways we can create these generational teams:
1. Make room for younger voices
The one thing that the younger generation wants more than anything is to have a voice. They want to be major players right now. They don’t want to wait for years to see if a seat opens up so they can have a role to play. If we want to retain high-quality, young leaders, we have to figure out a way to give them a voice and give them purpose. Otherwise, they will find it somewhere else. These young leaders also attract other young people to our ministry, which helps us continue to grow our church and fulfill our calling to reach people.
2. Don’t ignore the voice of experience
Just like younger leaders want their voice to be heard, our seasoned leaders have a need for respect. This can be a problem for leaders who are young and hungry (and often impatient). They feel like they can do it better than those who have gone before them. While that may be true in some cases, nothing can replace the experience and wisdom that only years of leadership can provide. If you are a young leader who has been given a voice, make sure that you are learning from and giving honor to those who give you opportunities to grow in your leadership. Their greatness didn’t come from just being good at something; it came from being good at it for a long time. Find someone who can help you get to that place.
3. Invest in a bigger table
When you find you have these two generations of leaders both fighting for the same seats, it’s time to get a bigger table. We need a family table where we can look each other in the eye and love each other for the things that we each bring to the table. Practically, this means creating new positions for people to lead and grow. It may mean discarding some of your traditions. It will probably be hard, but it will also probably lead to new experiences that are even better than what you have now. Then an amazing thing will happen: the leadership of your church will more accurately reflect the age diversity of people you are trying to reach.
A family table is a place where we can laugh and cry and grow and learn and respect each other. If we continue to have many separate tables, we will really never know the full unity and beauty that can come when we blend our generations to reflect the diversity in age and opinions that exist across the Kingdom of God.